Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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