Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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