My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
