a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
