This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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