Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
