I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
