FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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