Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
