do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
