its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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