Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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