What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
