You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
God, I missed his penis.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
