We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
