And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
