That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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