I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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