Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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