i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
