I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
