u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize