i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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