only if we run a train.
done.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
