Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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