these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
