If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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