when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
