I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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