I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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