I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
