he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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