then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
