I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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