i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
