my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
