I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
