"it" just moved
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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