I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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