I'm lost and stupid without you.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
