I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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