Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
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