She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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