If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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