You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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