i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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