I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
