did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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