Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
