is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
