i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
