so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
