if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize