And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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