We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
