were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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