paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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