Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
