I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
