just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
