eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
