I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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