i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
