Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
