I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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