just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize