Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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